“Maybe the first winds of winter make everyone a little nostalgic for the days they’re lucky to be rid of.” —Rules of Civility
That is generally true when it comes to a New York City winter, and never more so for me than this year, for some reason. The first cold snap will immediately make me think of my first year in New York, and then that will soften up my steely heart until I can think back fondly on friends from high school with whom I haven’t spoken in a decade, wondering if the time has come to look them up on Facebook.
One must fight these urges.
I was watching HBO’s Hello Ladies last night (so discomfiting and funny) and Stephen Marchant’s character, the overly cocky, unwittingly gawky clumsy operator, mentions a few times how much he wants to marry a model with a PhD to take home to show off to everyone who was mean to him. And considering the driving force behind many of my decisions in life has been an “I’ll show them!” attitude, I was surprised to realize I have no interest in rubbing anything in anyone’s faces. Because the real outcome of that situation is surely, “Yeah, but are you married? Do you have children? So wait, you just write about dead celebrities and forgotten sex symbols for fun?”
One of my own personal rules of civility is to not engage. And that includes resisting the temptation to go trawling through one’s past for a connection that probably doesn’t exist anymore.