I like to keep things simple. I drink my coffee black. I never decorate an office cubicle, because all of that will eventually need to be boxed up and taken home. (Unless the punishment for my sins is greater than I thought.) I try not to buy dry cleaning only clothing, because who needs the added hassle? And over the last few years I’ve started using the library more regularly, to keep the wave of books that crash and roll around my apartment at a minimum.
In an effort to continue streamlining life, I have also taught myself over the last two years how to sleep with just one pillow and without a fan whirring away through all the seasons. The fan was a big accomplishment, actually—ever since I was a child, I had to have that very specific white noise in order to sleep at all. This has led to fights with college roommates and passive aggressive morning wars with lovers.
And, of course, I keep my hair simple.
I have tried expensive hair cuts. I really have! And while doing so, I have given the hairdresser carte blanche to do what he thinks needs to be done to make me pretty. And lest you think that his inability to do anything other than what my hair has always been was because he was just following the faded tracks of haircuts past, please know that, when broke, I would go months without getting my hair cut at all. (Or I’d cut it myself, but that’s another story.)
So even when haircuts were billed as $100, I’d end up with the same utilitarian mop. That’s why I got to a local barbershop, where they’ll do the same thing for $14. And, if I’m lucky, they won’t try to talk to me as much as expensive hair dressers. (Do they charge extra for conversation?)
In theory, a No. 2 trimmer on the sides and back and a quick trim with scissors on top should take no time at all. I have not found this to be the case. At a recent trip to a new local barbershop, my haircut was prolonged by the aged barber frequently stopping to rest, placing his hands on my shoulders and leaning on me heavily. With the whirring razor still in his hand. This provided me ample opportunity to listen to a conversation happening beside me, which involved the barber’s son not liking to read and the client saying he’d been encouraged while growing up to read the book series Goosebumps. This was not one of my better days.
Maybe I’ll just keep my head shaved all the same length and do it at home. And save myself that $14. Plus tip.