The Cruel Truth of Goofus and Gallant’s Futures

I was recently introduced to Goofus and Gallant, little cartoon boys who taught children manners! What the strips don’t show, though, is that Goofus eventually made a name for himself as a freelance journalist because the world rewards assholes and Gallant ended up stuck in a dead-end job because he was always too polite.

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Maybe Goofus doesn’t piss on his hands, like Gallant does?

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Goofus is probably eating because his parents are fighting behind him and food equals love. So don’t judge him.

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Sneezers are annoying, everyone knows that.

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Goofus just doesn’t want to waste any more time. Would you ever thank Gallant for explaining what he had done? No. You’d say, “Whatever,” and hang up.

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One thought on “The Cruel Truth of Goofus and Gallant’s Futures

  1. Kelly Simpson says:

    I did a post on this same subject (what’r the odds) and when I did an image search for the post I happened to land on your post first try. I quoted a couple of lines. Hope you don’t mind. Cheers.

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