Adventures in Personal Training: Negotiating

This morning at the gym (legs and shoulders), I sat panting at one of the machines, searching on my phone for an example of my order.

“I’d like this, if you please,” I told my trainer. “Can we make this happen for me?”matt bomer new normal shirtless naked

“Arms, we already have better,” he told me. (Yessss.) “We can do better abs, too. But chest…” he trailed off sadly. “That’s genetics, man. Genetics. We can open it up, but even I can’t get that line.” Here he wistfully traced the undercarriage of Matthew Bomer’s magnificent pecs. “Give me another set,” he said thoughtfully as I shouldered the yoke of the shoulder machine.

By the time I had performed my allotted number of reps (12!), my trainer had a counter offer on his phone. “We can do this, easy,” he said. “You have the same body, same neck, everything.”

adam-levine-shirtless-SNL-monologue-with-cameron-diazSince I literally started personal training with Adam Levine’s body and build, I am currently in the market for a counter counter offer. I am open to suggestions, as long as they arrive in photographic form.

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