A Brief History of Films We’ve Seen on Dates*

When we were big on dating, we preferred dates that didn’t interfere with our very busy drinking schedule. As a result, we usually just had a half-dozen cocktails or so and called it a night and then got dressed and went home. But on a few occasions, gentlemen callers convinced us to attend a moving picture while sober. Here, as far as our repressed memories will allow us, is a list of the films we saw. Amelie

The Bourne Identity (He went to prison a month later)

Maid in Manhattan (We met him in a KMart on Christmas Eve)

Talk to Her (We came home with bruised earlobes. Earlobes!)

Chicago

The Stepford Wives

In a Lonely Place

Bad Education (He was 24 and planning a couple of grand in plastic surgery)

Sideways (Witch)

Masculine-Feminine (He had a better time when we watched Win a Date with Tad Hamilton)

The Amityville Horror

Monster-in-Law

The Squid and the Whale

Wedding Crashers

King Kong

Keeping Mum

Shadowboxer (The most inappropriate choice)

Factory Girl

Bug

Broken English (The second most inappropriate choice)

I Know Who Killed Me (That whole day was a mistake)

Sleuth

Wristcutters

(*This streetwalk down memory lane brought up some serious PTSD)

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