Saturday Trash

Hugh O’Brian is a beach bum gigolo in Acapulco. Ruth Roman is a wealthy, single woman of a certain age visiting with her friend. Lana Turner is a wealthy married woman of a certain age living an unsustainable life with Cliff Robertson, who has nothing but contempt for her riches. That’s right! It’s camptastic Love Has Many Faces, which is notable solely for two reasons: Hugh O’Brian’s barely there swim trunks and Lana Turner’s million dollar wardrobe.

“How old would you take me for?” Ruth Roman asks her friend as they ogle Hugh O’Brian. “Do you want the truth or what he’d tell you?” her friend cattily asks. Doesn’t matter. Hugh O’Brian will do anything for a buck. He’s sometimes wondered if there’s anything he wouldn’t do, but he can’t think of a thing.

“You’re 90 percent man,” Lana Turner tells him over brandy. “And 10 percent rat.”

“If you ever need the 90 percent,” he says, “just reach for it.”

“I’d rather break my arm,” Lana Turner says in a stellar impression of Lana Turner.

Honestly, the movie is dreadful, but Hugh O’Brian is peerless eye candy. We can’t wait until we’re Ruth Roman, happily paying for the attention of he-man gigolos.

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