Airport ’77: Underwater! may not have Karen Black among its star-studded cast, but do you know what it does have? Yes, Jimmy Stewart’s private island. Okay, yeah, that blind pianist. And you’re right, Olivia de Havilland. Yes! Geez, there is that complicated and ultimately arbitrary art heist. But it also has Lee Grant.
Karen Carpenter Died For Your Sins
I guess I can always go through life sideways.
Well Hello, Sam Elliott!
Why have I never seen this movie? Based on the stills on Google, Sam Elliott never puts on a shirt!
Airport 1975 Is the Most Important Film of All Time
Airport 1975 is a synecdoche for everything. The whole of the human experience is contained within its 106 minutes.
A fearless gaze into the abyss of mortality for a cross section of society? Yes. A terrifying look at how the technology upon which we depend can simply fail? Big time. A ruthless examination of internalized misogyny? Oh god, poor Karen Black! Continue reading
The Cruel Truth of Goofus and Gallant’s Futures
I was recently introduced to Goofus and Gallant, little cartoon boys who taught children manners! What the strips don’t show, though, is that Goofus eventually made a name for himself as a freelance journalist because the world rewards assholes and Gallant ended up stuck in a dead-end job because he was always too polite.
Maybe Goofus doesn’t piss on his hands, like Gallant does?
Goofus is probably eating because his parents are fighting behind him and food equals love. So don’t judge him.
Sneezers are annoying, everyone knows that.
Goofus just doesn’t want to waste any more time. Would you ever thank Gallant for explaining what he had done? No. You’d say, “Whatever,” and hang up.
A Very Brief History of Olive Pell’s Even Briefer Bible
In 1952, vegetarian and prude Olive Pell did what so many entrepreneurs have done: She took a hobby and made it pay. In this case, her hobby was editing the Bibles of friends. Eventually, since everyone was such a fan of her work, Ms. Pell self-published her version of the Bible, in which she crossed out anything that smacked of the carnal (goodbye, all those begats!) and all mentions of the eating of meat. As you may imagine, this left the Bible a great deal shorter. As you may not imagine, it was a bestseller. Eventually, a real publisher picked it up and the Olive Pell Bible became a thing. Just try to find one now, though! (Seriously, please try. I’d like a copy.)
Dipping a Toe Into Astrological Waters
Joan Quigley inspired me to look up my astrological birth chart, which requires the exact time of one’s birth. I must say, it’s pretty dead on. Here’s a good example!
Your likes and dislikes are strong and intense, never casual or superficial. You are known for your persistence and willful obsession. Once you have decided on a course of action, you are unstoppable. Your emotional actions tend to be extreme, although you try to keep them muted. You are not quick to anger, you do slow burns. And you tend to release your anger as sarcasm or irony. Beware of your tendency to hold grudges and to be vengeful. When you do fight, or release your internal tensions, you do so body and soul — you become totally passionate and your outbursts are awesome to behold.
Year Two: The Big Heat
As part of our anniversary celebration, we’ve changed both our header photo (hey, Gloria Grahame!) and our tagline. The two are both from The Big Heat, which holds the distinction of being the only movie that can make me cry every time I watch it, and both of them are better reflective of where we are here a year in than Joan Didion. As happy as we were to have her!
High School Hell
When I say I have multiple nemeses, I’m not really joking. I have always had a somewhat… troubled relationship with people. And I don’t mean just nasty classmates who would tease me or co-workers who seem to go out of their way to make my day long. I mean that in high school, I had teachers who would fuck with me. Continue reading
The Memoir of Nancy Reagan’s Astrologer
That Nancy Reagan used an astrologer isn’t news. Or is it? It’s not really something that has stayed fresh in people’s minds, is it? Well, very quickly, an astrologer controlled the timing of pretty much every event of Ronald Reagan’s presidency, from the time Air Force One took off to the scheduling for the first meeting with Gorbachev.
And, as it turns out, that astrologer wrote a book!
What Does Joan Say?: My Seven Years as White House Astrologer to Nancy and Ronald Reagan is a shiv in the form of a memoir. Joan Quigley just can’t help herself. In many ways. She can’t help summarizing or reiterating what she’s just said a few pages (and, in some cases, paragraphs) earlier, and she can’t help but take a few jabs at Nancy. Continue reading
